My children are disgusting. I suppose I am partly to blame for what I recently discovered in the van, but I was reminded once again that all the food that we give to our children while we’re driving doesn’t end up going in their mouths.
On one car seat, the clasp broke. I had to remove the defective car seat and put in a new one. When I crawled into the back seat of the family van, I was horrified by the things I saw. I lifted out the old car seat, and there were tons of crumbs and other partially eaten remnants smooched into the folds of the van. Buried in every crack and crevice were goldfish crackers, half melted fruit snacks, blackened banana peels, apple cores, Golden Graham shrapnel, and countless Honey Nut Cheerios.
I retreated to the house for some high powered artillery: an extension cord, and my Dyson DC41 Animal Vacuum. My four year old son, Ivan the Terrible, came outside to help. I plugged the vacuum in an sucked up all the debris. Ivan joined me in the van and “helped out” by honking the horn repeatedly as I worked. It took me quite a while to get in every nook and cranny, but I thought I cleaned up everything. Ivan got on his belly and crawled into the back seat to inspect my work. He squirmed out from under the back seat and held up one last Honey Nut Cherrio. I asked him to give it to me, but he ate it instead.