Shark Week Video Entry – Spiny Dogfish Fishing

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I was on vacation the past week in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina.  At the same time as we were down there, there were several shark attacks just to the north of us in North Carolina.  I can see why.  At the beach we were at, in Garden City, South Carolina, which is just south of Myrtle Beach, we saw several sharks at the pier.  The sharks are there all the time because of the fisherman.  I’m not talking little baby sharks either.  These were eight foot long bull sharks that troll the waters.  The weird thing is, the swimmers and surfers didn’t even flinch about it.  There were several of them swimming and surfing only 20 meters from where we were seeing sharks!  Crazy people, I tell you.

Anyways, I didn’t go swimming anywhere near the pier.  I did go in the ocean a few times, but only up to my knees.  Apparently, that’s all you have to be in though to get attacked.  I read some of the reports, and it seems none of the people who were bit were in deep water.

I did get up close and personal with one kind of shark called the “spiny dogfish”.  We caught some when we went on a fishing charter.  Watch the video!

It was rough seas, but we all managed to keep our lunch down.  Sorry that there’s no footage of me catching a shark, but I really did.  You gotta believe me!

New Year’s Resolutions = 8% Success Rate

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I was reading an article posted on the Forbes website that said just eight percent of the people who set New Year’s Resolutions actually achieve them.  The article went on to explain how people met their resolutions, but I lost interest after seeing things like “hard work” and “be realistic”.  I came up with a different plan.

I will set twelve goals for 2014.  If I achieve one of them, statistically I will be better than average at New Year’s Resolutions.  I did the math.

Multiply this by 100 and you have a percentage.  Amazing!

Multiply this by 100 and you have a percentage. Amazing!

One out of twelve is just over eight percent.  I might as well shoot for some big things because if I hit on one, I’m the champion of 2014.  Eat it, Forbes.

Here are my 12 New Year’s Resolutions.

1. Publish my first book.

2. Go to bed before 10:00 pm every night.  Nothing good happens after 10 pm, especially for people who are 37 years old. (P.S. It’s 9:58pm right now.  You can stop reading because the rest will probably be garbage.)

3.  Buy a boat.

4.  Win the Lottery.  I know I won’t buy a boat unless I fall into a pit of money.

Before I list number five.  Here’s a joke.

Ed prays to god every night with the same prayer.

“Dear God.  Please, let me win the lottery.  I would love it if you would let me win the lottery.”

This goes on for years and years.  Finally one night, while Ed is praying, the clouds rumble, the heavens part, and God appears before the man.  Ed stares up at God and says, “God!  Oh heavenly Father.  Are you here to answer my prayers?  Are you here to tell me I won the lottery?”

God shakes his head and says, “Ed.  Would you at least meet me halfway and buy a lottery ticket?”

5.  Remember to buy lottery tickets.

6.  Take the kids tubing, skiing, or wake boarding on my new boat.

7.  Go fishing on my new boat.

8.  Go fishing with my brother on my new boat.

9.  Go fishing with the kids on my new boat.

10.  Go fishing while my wife catches a tan as she lies on the front of my new boat.

11.  Try not to hook my wife with an errant cast as she lies on the front of my new boat.

12.  Grade papers and return them to students in less than a week from when I collected them.  (This one is hilarious)