I’ve had this idea for a book and or screenplay for a while, but I’ve never really put it all down.
Working Title: Review This (Comedy)
Tagline: Don’t Cross Your Russian Mobster Boss
Elevator Pitch: A financially strapped teacher writes online reviews for household products for extra cash. His employer, a Russian mobster, asks him to review strange and racy products as well as asks the teacher for his wife to be in the video reviews. He and his wife agrees, but when the Russian mobster asks for too much, will the teacher be able to say no, or does he no longer have a choice on what he can or can’t review.
Premise: A teacher, we’ll name him James, basically has given up controlling his class (I’m thinking like Kevin Hart or Will Farrell as the lead role). James is looking for a different job or any other way to earn money. He’s too proud to tell his wife, we’ll name the wife Sue, about his failings as a teacher, but he knows he’s probably going to get fired. James breaks the vacuum while trying to help out at home and Sue tells him to buy a new one. He doesn’t have any money to buy a new one, but he finds a unique add on the internet where he could get his vacuum for free if he writes a 2000 word review about the vacuum he buys. James does this. The company pays him for the vacuum, and in turn asks him to review five more. James agrees and does the vacuum reviews and gets paid well for each one.
Soon thereafter, James is asked by a representative from the company, an eccentric Russian man, to start adding video reviews to his written review. James is camera shy, so he asks his wife to appear in the video reviews. Sue agrees, and they earn even more money for their vacuum reviews. The Russian man then starts asking James to review other products like juicers, dishwashers, mattresses. He agrees. The money is rolling in, except James gets fired from his teaching job. James reaches out to the Russian to see if he has any other products that he can review for him.
The Russian asks him to use his wife to review dominatrix type products. Sue surprisingly agrees to help out and they end up making more and more money. Unfortunately, a rival reviewing group notices what James is doing, and starts stealing his reviews and posting them on a different website. The Russian mobster thinks James is double crossing him and tries to kill James and Sue.
Example section of dialogue. The Russian is telling James that he has to review and make videos about dominatrix clothing and gear.
You want my wife to do what?
To model these clothes. You don’t like these clothes?
I don’t know?
You don’t know? You either like them or you like man. Ha. That was quite funny. Funny unless you like man. Do you like man? You probably shouldn’t be married to a woman if you like man?
It’s men. You should say men, as in the plural form of man.
So you like a lot of man. You like men?
No. No I like my wife.
So it’s settled then. She will model the clothes. Don’t worry. You can be the won she ties up for the videos. I don’t want to introduce other men into your life. Should I say man there? I’m confused.
This idea actually comes from some of my real life experience, and a fun conversation I had with my friend Art. I used to do vacuum reviews, and juicer reviews for a guy from Slovenia. That is the truth. My wife would be in some of the videos, because it was easier for me to film her and such because I have a little more experience using a video camera. Here’s an example of one of our video efforts.
Art asked me if the guy I was working for was petting a Siberian Tiger while I spoke to him. Then our conversation went off the rails. Ta da! A movie idea was born. I think it would be fun to watch something like this occurring.