Rainbow Loom College Plan

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My wife and I are both teachers.  Since we value education, we think that all three of our children should go to college and get a degree.

The downside for my wife and I is we are teachers who don’t earn a ton of money.  Our dream of three children graduating college means we have to save a boatload of money for them.  Currently in our 529 college plan, we have around zero dollars saved up for the three children.

My parents paid for my college education.  My wife earned a scholarship and also received help from her grandfather when paying for her education.  I feel that we should do the same, but according to inflation and the escalating prices of a college education, it will cost us about four million dollars to pay for all three of them.  I might be a bit low with that estimate.

Enter the RAINBOW LOOM

On YouTube, I have posted a bunch of running instructional videos.  They make me a little money each month.  One day, my oldest son, Bob the Builder, said he wanted to do a Rainbow Loom instructional video.  My son watches YouTube Rainbow Loom videos and learns how to make bracelets, so he wanted to post his own creations.  I filmed it for him, and we posted a video.  Bob the Builder did an excellent job explaining how to make a bracelet, and then my daughter, The Flower Child, said she wanted to do one too.  She made a bracelet, and I filmed for her.

BAM!  A cottage industry is born.  Now we just have to wait for the money to pile up.  I checked the stats yesterday for our YouTube channel and we actually made some money.

“Hey kids,” I announced.  “We made 67 cents!”

The Flower Child screamed, “We’re rich!”

Bob the Builder replied, “He said 67 cents, not dollars.”

Wish us luck!  Here is the first video we did.

 

This video is the one my daughter made.

 

We only have to make about $3,999,999.33 more and they’ll be set for college.

Story Time – Don’t Take Your Kids to Fancy Restaurants

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You know what’s worse than sticking a fork into your own eyeball?  Taking three kids, ages four, six, and seven to a sit down restaurant.

We recently went  on a mini-vacation.  When we arrived at the hotel, my immediate thought was, hooray, we get to eat out for dinner.   There was a Taco Bell right next to our hotel, but we thought we should take the kids out to a nicer restaurant.  Right across the street was the Olive Garden.  My wife, Lisa, and I thought that the kids would love it there.  Salad, breadsticks, pasta.  These are all things that the kids think are delicious.

I don't think they like their food.

I don’t think they like their food.

Unfortunately, our three children were not impressed.  First, they didn’t like the salad.  Included in an Olive Garden salad is a peperoncini, which is a pickled hot pepper.  My four year old, Ivan the Terrible, bit into a peperoncini.  He obviously didn’t expect it to be hot because immediately after the juice hit his tongue he started howling in pain.

Yet another reason why my children were irritated with our choice of restaurant was we had to wait for the food to come out.  The salad and breadsticks didn’t do much for them, so they proceeded to whine about having no food.  The seven year old, Bob the Builder, kept repeating, “They’re way faster at McDonalds.”

Finally, the food arrived, but yet again, our children were disappointed.  We gave them all some calamari, and they didn’t take to it as much as we thought they would.   Lisa then made the mistake of telling our kids that calamari is actually squid.  “Eew, gross,” my six year old daughter, The Flower Child, complained.  The Flower Child hated her lasagna too.  She told my wife, “It’s not good like the lasagna you make, Mommy.”

I loved the food.  Since the kids didn’t eat that much, I was plowed through my plate and then theirs too.  Everything was great in my book until I got the bill.  That’s when I decided that taking the kids out to a nicer restaurant was a bad idea.  Food for five at the Olive Garden is a heck of a lot more expensive than eating fast food.

– Dave

What about your experiences taking kids out to eat at a nice place.  Did it go well?  Any horror stories?  Please share!

My Kids Play Dirty – Soccer Story Time

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I’m too competitive.  It’s something I have come to accept, and unfortunately this trait of mine is rubbing off on my children.  Here’s my story… This weekend, my three children challenged me to a soccer game.  We set up two goals in the backyard and started playing.  The first one to five goals would be declared the winner and grand champions of the soccer universe.

Get off me kids!

Get off me kids!

My oldest son, Bob the Builder, is seven.  He is ultra competitive, so I knew this would be a battle.  If he loses, he starts crying.  Then again, when I lose, I cry too.  He’s kind of like his father that way.

Quickly, I busted out to a two to nothing lead.  When I play, I play for keeps.  YOU KNOW IT!  No little crew of pip squeaks are going to keep me down.  Bob recognized that he had to change his strategy, or this game would be a rout.  He huddled up with The Flower Child, my five year old daughter, and Ivan the Terrible, my three year old son.

Bob’s plan was devious and brilliant.  Immediately after the huddle broke, The Flower Child sprinted right at me.  She then jumped up and gave me a big bear hug.  I put her down because Bob the Builder was coming to shoot on goal, but The Flower Child clung to my leg leaving me completely immobile.  Bobo scored!

The next time down, Bob sent The Flower Child and Ivan the Terrible to grab my legs.  Bob scored again.  The game was tied 2 – 2.

The rest of the game involved me dodging the munchkins, while trying to score goals and keep Bob from scoring.  When the score was tied four to four, things got intense.  As The Flower Child and Ivan the Terrible chased me, I would snatch them before they could cling to my legs, and I would toss them out of the way.  They didn’t get discouraged at all, and Ivan started diving at my ankles.  I tripped eluding Ivan’s attack, and then The Flower Child jumped on my back as I was trying to get back up.  Bob saw his window of opportunity and scored the winning goal.

Bob celebrated the victory by joining his brother and sister.  They all jumped on me repeatedly as I rolled around in the grass crying.

– Dave

How about you?  Are you competitive?  Do you play fair, or do you look for that edge, even if you’re cheating?

 

Story Time – My Daughter Chases Darkness the Cat

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It’s Story Time!  Every Monday at my school, I tell a story about what happened in my life over the weekend.  I figured, I might as well post it here too.  All the names have been changed, but the story really did happen.  The Story Time posts are strictly for entertainment purposes.  Don’t expect to learn anything, except for the fact that you should write down your awesome life stories. Enjoy!

I'm a cat.  Fear me!

I’m a cat. Fear me!

Let the story begin!

Because my five year old daughter, The Flower Child, loves our cat, Tabby, so much, she chases the cat all around the house and tries to pick her up.  Fortunately, the cat never bites The Flower Child.  Unfortunately, my daughter had a false sense of security around cats.  She thought all cats are sweet like our little Tabby.

On Thursday, The Flower Child slept over at Aunt Bertha’s house for the first time.  Aunt Bertha has a cat of her own named Darkness.  I think Darkness is part black panther because he is absolutely huge for a domestic cat.  He’s super long and has muscles popping out of his fur.

Darkness is relatively friendly, but not used to being chased by a little girl.  The Flower Child spotted the cat and went to pick him up, so Darkness raced down into the basement.  Aunt Bertha saw this and said, “Flower Child, leave him alone.  He doesn’t want to be petted.”  My daughter didn’t listen to this advice at all and immediately ran downstairs to try and catch the cat.  She backed the cat into a corner in the basement, and then Darkness bit her right in the face.  Blood was everywhere.  Aunt Bertha washed off all the blood and tried to clean out the six deep puncture wounds.  The Flower Child cried some, but once her face was washed off, she was okay.

The next morning came, and The Flower Child’s face had swelled up like a balloon.  It looked like she had a tennis ball stored in her left cheek.  When we came to pick her up from Aunt Bertha’s house, we were shocked.  My wife took The Flower Child to the doctor, and now she has to take two different antibiotics for 10 days because her cuts are infected.  I did a little internet research on a cat bite with deep punctures and my daughter probably has a bacterial infection.  Pasturella multocida (whatever that is) breeds in a cat’s mouth, and that was transferred into my daughter’s face.

The doctor was very worried that the infection had spread too much already, so she drew a big circle on my daughters face around the swelling.  The doctor said we had to report to the emergency room immediately if it went past the circle.  Luckily, the swelling never expanded any more. My three year old son, Ivan the Terrible, thought that the circle on The Flower Child’s face was really cool.  He decided to draw a circle on his face too.  My wife thought this was such a sweet gesture.  She said, “Oh, Ivan.  You’re so nice!”  Ivan the Terrible took this the wrong way though, and then colored with marker all over his entire face.  Luckily, he used washable markers.

For a day or two, we were still very concerned about The Flower Child, but by Sunday, the swelling has subsided considerably.  All that’s left on my daughter’s little face are some scabs where the cat punctured her skin, and a pretty nasty black eye.  She was embarrassed to show her face off in kindergarten, so I hope school went well for her today.

Did she learn her lesson?  Nope.  She still chases our cat all around the house and picks her up repeatedly.

 What happened on your weekend?  Do you have any stories you’d like to tell?  Any questions about my story?  Leave your comments and questions below!