I get two types of responses whenever I tell people that I’m a middle school teacher.
1. Really? Aren’t the kids awful in middle school? I was awful back then. I was a total idiot.
2. Oh, bless your heart. You’re earning your stars in heaven. It takes a special kind of person to teach middle school.
Both responses are correct. They aren’t kids at this age, but they certainly aren’t adults, and they make some of the weirdest and dumbest choices you could ever imagine. Also, it does take a special, usually weird person to teach this age group.
That’s why I think a reality TV show about the teachers in a middle school would be comedy gold! My favorite time of the day is when I go to the teacher’s lounge to eat lunch. I know, you think discussion between teachers must be riveting.
It actually is! We do talk about the students and their poor decisions, but most of the conversations are funny and weird.
Today, I documented some of the subjects brought up.
1. One of the teachers talked about breaking a chair when they were 11 years old, and not telling their parents. Then at a cocktail party, an 86 year old grandma sat in the chair after having two Manhattans and toppled over.
2. Things that students at this age will never experience. Back in the day, there was a toll free line where you could call and they would pray for you. One of the teachers talked about how they would prank call the prayer line with elaborate stories about how their parents are dead, and their life is horrible.
3. We talked about star celebrity guest teacher appearances. We wanted Justin Timberlake (I shouldn’t say we, but the girls wanted him) as the Chorus special guest. I suggested that Terry Crews could be the gym teacher. If you’re not familiar with him, here’s a quick Old Spice ad.
4. Teacher stuff does get brought up. For instance, there was a discussion about parabolas. Whisper dishes where you whisper into a parabola and then you can hear the whisper way across the room at the focal point of another parabola.
5. One idea that I would like is if you filmed the classes, then when a student was brought up in discussion, then you could do like a highlight video of the student making “poor choices”. I’m using teacher speak when I say poor choices. That means they did something pretty awful.
There’s so much more stuff, but I want to keep this relatively clean. As you can imagine, much of the discussion isn’t really that safe for work, and I don’t want to get anybody in trouble. Just imagine a bunch of adults with incredibly juvenile commentary.